Take The Time Today To Read This Story About Shaq

I’ve heard the whispers and rumors for years about Shaq’s private life being a disaster.  We’re on the cusp of discovering just how awful he might have been during his playing days.  For a good taste of what’s likely to come, check out this awesome piece from the Miami New Times which details a bizarre story of an IT guy stealing his emails and revealing a superstar who was living a double life behind the scenes.  From the Miami New Times:

So Shawn Darling, who sports a scraped-clean dome and a slightly leery perma-grin, got to work at his boss’s behest. He perched himself like a pygmy at O’Neal’s sprawling desk, which the giant had custom-built to make himself feel even smaller than a regular person.

He scoured O’Neal’s Macintosh hard drive seven times so that no subpoena would ever get at any digital evidence once stored there.

Darling also made a suggestion. “Why you using AOL for email anyway?” he scoffed at his boss. “Why don’t you have me set you up on your own server so that you can always have access to your old emails?”

O’Neal agreed to the plan. But he wasn’t quite satisfied with the clean hard drive, Darling would later claim in a civil complaint. The superstar boxed up the computer and headed out to the small pleasure craft docked behind his mansion. Joe, O’Neal’s “houseboy” — a position that, as gleaned from an email filed in court, paid $155,000 a year — played first mate.

When they returned from their lake expedition, Darling recalls, the houseboy was holding a soaked, empty computer box. The Styrofoam had made the box float, the lake-faring duo explained to Darling. So they had to take the computer out and toss it into the depths.

Darling says he sat shotgun while O’Neal then spent hours hunched over a laptop in his Mercedes-Benz in the parking lot of a local Barnes & Noble. Afraid to use his own internet connection, he anonymously called Miller a “gold digger” in the comments sections of blogs that reported the restraining order.

Shaq is all set to team up with Charles Barkley on TNT when the lockout ends.  I guess we’re truly going to find out if they really are the same person.  Charles, it seems, can get away with anything at this point because he’s honest with himself about who he is and has a gregarious personality that makes it impossible to hate him.  Shaq has the personality but it seems like he might not have the whole honesty thing down.

Should be interesting.

[Miami New Times]

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Shaq Just Announced His Retirement Via Twitter Video

I can’t get the embed code to post the video for you so you’ll have to follow this link and watch it yourself.

Someone from TNT needs to get him on the phone ASAP.  It’s finally time to make the dream team studio pairing of him and Charles Barkley a reality.  I would pay good money to watch those two bounce opinions off each other every night.

I think Simmons summed up Shaq’s career best when he said something to the extent of the following: Shaq was like that guy you knew in college who could have gotten a 4.0 but instead got a 3.2 and enjoyed every second of his time.

Amen.

Let’s now take a minute and remember his greatest internet moment of all. Kobe knows what we’re talking about…

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The Mavs next move?

By Eddie Moore

The Dallas Mavericks achieved their number one priority this summer: retaining Dirk Nowitzki. Now that they have him locked up, it’s time for Mark Cuban to make another big deal this summer. As Tim MacMahon touches on in this article, the Mavs are in desperate need of a capable sidekick to Dirk. The rumors have swirled about the possibility of the Mavs obtaining Chris Paul (doubtful), Al Jefferson (possible), Shaquille O’Neal (dumb), or even Jermaine O’Neal (dumber). Obviously Paul would drastically improve any franchise, and Big Al would be a solid upgrade especially if they lose Brendan Haywood, but the question still remains: Will Dirk ever get his ring? The window is closing for Dirk, and while the Mavs are equipped with a solid core of players, they need another superstar if they plan on contending with the Lakers. Many Mavs fans have already crowned Roddy Beaubois a future perennial all-star, but at only six-feet, he can’t solidify the two-guard position that the Mavericks  desperately need.  So, with the  Erick  Dampier  expiring contract at his disposal, along with some  other viable trade pieces, Cuban needs to make a serious move – and make it soon. [Tim MacMahon of ESPN]

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