“I want to be great. I’m gonna be great. There’s no doubt about it.”
[h/t Buzzfeed sports Twitter account]
Try not to cry, I dare you!
Heroic effort by Tyson Chandler here, oh by the way.
Big baby getting postered is about as common as Blake Griffin alley-oops at this point. This time, at the hands of Joakim Noah:
Jeff Teague had a nice transition poster against Boston:
And finally, Deron Williams throwind down with such authority that Tristan Thompson intentionally gets out of the way:
Obviously some of these are far-fetched, but desperate times call for desperate measures! Dwight has made it clear he’s had enough with the cougars who prowl the stands during Orlando’s games. Orlando needs to act fast to complete a deal or else risk becoming the next Cleveland or Toronto. And don’t even try to woo us with your fancy pants reasoning that it might be better for Orlando to actually let him walk, because of the new ramifications of the CBA and salary cap. A no fun zone, this is not!
For this column we examined trades for every single team in the NBA. Don’t worry, we won’t waste your time by showing you how a potential deal between the Bobcats and Magic would break down. We’ve instead narrowed it to teams that Dwight would actually re-sign with or those who would likely risk trading away everything for the potential to convince him to stay in the next three months. One last note: all trades are 100% verified in the ESPN trade machine which we’ve linked individually to show you (note, they’ll show you how the trades would affect each team’s projected win total as well).
From least interesting to most interesting, we present this year’s candidates on the NBA’s version of the Bachelor…
Potential Suitor: Boston Celtics
Analysis: This isn’t very likely to happen, but because of ESPN and Bill Simmons’ obsession of pretending like the Celtics are always in the mix for every player ever, we included it anyway. Rondo and Allen are definitely serviceable assets that any team would be more than happy to land. The reason this trade doesn’t happen though is that Dwight would never sign an extension here, given that the only potential remaining teammates left that are worth a damn would be Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. But they have like 114 years on this earth between the two of them.
Potential Suitor: LA Lakers
Analysis: Before breaking it down any further, you’re going to notice a trend among these trades in that the Magic are going to try to pair Turkoglu and his horrific contract if they do decide to ditch Dwight. It makes a ton of sense, especially paired with their demand for expiring contracts, young talent, and stars in return. On paper, this trade works for both teams. The Lakers get the reincarnation of Shaq as well as a serviceable point guard who isn’t an AIG-sized liability every time he steps on the floor. The Magic get a ton of talent in return that can’t leave in the next couple years, as well as an expiring deal in Murphy and some young talent in Goudelock. Everybody wins. Of course this won’t happen because Jim Buss has a man-crush on Andrew Bynum that would leave Vinne and Pauly D jealous. Organizational success be damned.
Potential Suitor: Golden State Warriors