Kim Kardashian Will Divorce Kris Humphries

Lolz. From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian will file for divorce this morning, after 72 days of not-so-wedded bliss to Kris Humphries … TMZ has learned.

We’re told even though the marriage was short, she will not seek an annulment. It’s a garden variety divorce, in which Kim cites “irreconcilable differences.”

We’re told the date of separation is listed as today, Oct. 31, 2011.

Kim has hired disso-queen Laura Wasser, who has repped the likes of Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds, and Robyn Gibson, Mel’s almost ex-wife.

As we first reported, the couple has a prenuptial agreement … Kim made sure of that.

NEVER saw this coming…



NFL Week Eight Summary

Cowboys 7 Eagles 34 – Quick thought on this game. If you’re Dez Bryant or Miles Austin, do you not corner Romo in the locker room after the game and tell him, in no uncertain terms, that if he ever favors Witten that heavily again, you’ll hold a press conference to call him a racist? That was absurd. Unbelievably silly. Romo wouldn’t even pretend like he was going to throw it to anybody else last night. I would have tore him up in the locker room if I was on that team. Romo targeted him twelve times last night and when you throw only 34 passes the whole evening that’s like tareting him 25 times. Such a Romo thing to do. Last thing: Dallas needs to cut Martellus Bennett this morning, right?

Patriots 17 Steelers 25 – The Steelers played man when everyone knows they usually play zone. I wouldn’t be too worried if I was a Patriots fan. Belichick always finds a way to adjust, and now he’s seen Pittsburgh’s best hand. I LOVE the Bennie Biggle Wiggle celebration dance by Antonio Brown.

Browns 10 49ers 20 – Seriously, just spend a Monday morning in the future looking up fan videos of touchdowns. Time well spent.

Bengals 34 Seahawks 12 – I say Andy Dalton: NFL Rookie of the Year. You say? No but seriously, you don’t just walk into Seattle and that home field advantage and do this…

Redskins 0 Bills 23 – Not even former Broncos are having a good run at it these days. This was the first time Mike Shanahan had ever been shut out as a head coach in the NFL in nearly 200 tries. Sad day. On the plus side, this happened to Tyler Thigpen.

Lions 45 Broncos 10 – Only five more years until we’re relevant again Broncos fans! I’m going to show two videos of the Lions mocking us here, just out of respect for how convincingly they beat us yesterday. First up is Stephen Tulloch “Tebowing” after sacking the Broncos QB.

Next is former Bronco Tony Scheffler mocking every famous Broncos end zone celebration after his touchdown. He’s clearly still not bitter about us trading him a couple seasons ago.

Colts 10 Titans 27 – Simmons threw out an interesting theory last week. Is it possible Peyton is done for good? You’d hope not, but you never know.

Saints 21 Rams 31 – The single most baffling game of the season. I wish I could get my hands on the video that teams get to break down after games to see what the Rams did to get this result. It’s even more shocking than when the Saints lost to Seattle last year in the first round of the playoffs. Did they know Brees’ audible calls? Do the Saints have a glaring weakness we all need to know about? How does this happen after they just won 62-7? The NFL everybody!

Dolphins 17 Giants 20 – Eli Manning is a stud. Also: the Giants need to release Brandon Jacobs who is clearly not cut out for the NFL anymore.

Vikings 24 Panthers 21 – Check out this fight between Percy Harvin and Captain Munnerlyn. The Panthers need to start putting away games like this. I realize they had the field goal miss at the end of regulation but still, the Vikings?

Cardinals 27 Ravens 30 – Unforgivable for the Cardinals to let the Ravens comeback and win this game.

Jaguars 14 Texans 24 – Can I interest you in Blaine Gabbert dropping the F bomb live on national television?


Good Morning Generation

Weird sports weekend:

-Not pleased about the Rangers.

-Great game between Stanford and USC. Regardless of how you feel about the last play in regulation, can we all agree Lane Kiffin deserves to be blasted for calling a drag route to the long-side of the field? It was the worst time management by a college coach since Mack Brown nearly lost the Big 12 Championship two years ago against Nebraska by calling for a Colt McCoy rollout. All USC needed was a quick slant and a quick timeout. That loss is on Kiffin.

-The NFL sucked yesterday. Probably my least favorite weekend of the year so far and not just because the Broncos are going to get mocked with the Tebowing fad for the next three years.

Generation Y, where Pujols going to the Cubs would immediately surpass LeBron James’ “Decision” as the greatest public pimp slapping of a franchise. We hope this happens.